Elissa is a talented, extremely professional and attentive practitioner. I couldn’t have imagined a better experience with a potential for long term benefit. For several years, I lived with a low grade gnawing depression that I tried to self-medicate with caffeine or other stimulants in the morning and alcohol or other depressants in the evening. This depression was exacerbated by a sense of purposelessness brought on by a series of increasingly challenging life circumstances. To boost my energy and sense of well being, I practiced yoga and meditation. I got outdoors in nature, when I could. I did everything I could think of to make me feel less irritable and hopeless. These things did help to some degree but I could never really get over the wall of depression, anxiety and fear.
In the weeks leading up to the Ceremony, I had a chance to provide various details in my life, outline concerns and issues and discuss what brought me to this treatment. I had a couple of pre-Ceremony meetings with Elissa and was able to contact her with any additional questions. I felt like she assisted me every step of the way, was available and also introduced me to videos perfectly tailored to what we had discussed.
The setting for the Ceremony was ideal, being out in nature as it was. Elissa had mentioned before the Ceremony that I may not get what I want but get what I need. I did in fact have expectations beforehand, based on the research I had done on the process but what actually ended up happening was nothing like I could have imagined. I have a new respect for the wisdom of medicine (over my own expectations) and Elissa’s facilitation that made this possible.
During the Ceremony, I had a few hours of intense somatic releases. Because of Elissa being so attentive in the weeks leading up to the ceremony, I knew I could let go and let Elissa facilitate the process, which then allowed me to go more deeply into the experience. She was there, “working behind the scenes” with a combination of drumming, music and singing while allowing me to have my experience. After the somatic releases subsided, I knew exactly why things rolled out the way they did. I tend to be very much in my head, but because of the nature of this very physical experience, (almost devoid of emotion or thought) there was nothing to intellectualize or analyze. I just felt rested, looser and more connected to everything around me. I realize that sometimes I just have to let things happen beyond my ability to make logical sense of them and trust that I am receiving what I need.
Post-Ceremony, I have been left with a sense of well being and a greater sense of connection to life. I had a great post-meeting with Elissa and felt like we could talk as kindred spirits. I consider the Ceremony grounds as one of my happy places that I can reflect back on to give me a little boost of well-being. I realize, too, that there is no magic bullet with the medicine. Though I was completely happy, calm and content in the first few days following the Ceremony, the depression has returned from time to time (though it is not nearly as strong as before). Of course the life circumstances are still there. The long term difference, I think, is that I can now frame the depression and life circumstances differently. I can work with them because I see my relationship to life in a completely different way. I suppose this is what is meant by integration. Thanks, Elissa! You are providing a life-changing service!
-A.S.